Happy Random Acts of Kindness Day but what is kindness?

It is bigger than compassion and definitely not the same as being nice

Kindness has been defined as actions intended to benefit others (Curry et al. 2018) hence why today (17th February 2023) is Random Acts of Kindness Day but it is a multifaceted concept that can be found in many aspects of our lives. It is a trait and a state of being that can be expressed in numerous ways, from a warm smile and a kind gesture to an intentional act of service or a kind word. It is also a moral emotion, a motivation, and an attitude, which can be used to improve relationships and wellbeing. Additionally, kindness is a moral value, a norm, an ethos, a language, and a cultural feature that is essential in organisations, communities, and nations.

Malti (2020) undertook extensive analysis which resulted in the creation of a model which distinguishes three components of kindness -

We can cultivate kind cognitions by understanding other people's perspectives and integrating them into our own. Sympathy, empathy, compassion, tenderness, and gratitude are examples of kind emotions. Listening, smiling, comforting, giving a compliment, helping, cooperating, sharing, giving, and supporting are examples of kind behaviours. People can build meaningful relationships with each other and can create a more harmonious environment through kindness.

The reason acts of kindness are so powerful is because kindness is contagious and has the power to make the world a better place. It's easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget to take the time to be kind to others, but it can make a huge difference. Even something as small as a kind smile or compliment can make a person feel more confident and appreciated. Everyone deserves to feel like they are a part of a supportive, positive community, and acts of kindness are a great way to start. If people receive kindness they are more likely to act kindly and positivity spreads.

These are some suggestions of things you can do at work to be kinder -

Sometimes kindness and compassion are confused but compassion is a concept within kindness. Compassion is often associated with a deep understanding of the emotional suffering of another person, while kindness is more often associated with an action or decision to help someone in need. Compassion involves feeling an emotional connection to another person and recognising the commonality of human experience, while kindness is about actively reaching out to help someone in a tangible way. It is also possible to be kind without full understanding of another person's emotional experience.

I will talk more about the complexities of kindness in later posts but it is important to say it isn’t the same as nice, sometimes it is complicated, sometimes if means not being nice to everybody. Niceness can be superficial and be focused on politeness and being agreeable whilst kindness takes thought, connection and is complicated.

Today, go out and think kind. Think is this the “kind” thing to do and do it. You will feel better and we should all strive to be more kind and understanding in our lives to create a more positive and harmonious environment.

Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J. and Whitehouse, H., (2018). Happy to Help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 76, pp. 320–329. 

Malti, T., (2020). Kindness: a perspective from developmental psychology. European Journal of Developmental Psychology. 18(5), pp. 1–29.